My House Right Now

Hi there! I didn’t expect to see you tonight! No that’s okay, come on in. Just as long as you don’t judge me too harshly, my house is a mess.
Please take your shoes off, we don’t want to track in anything unwanted like dirt or leaves or crippling self image. You can just leave them by the stacks of feeding tube supplies and the pile of stuff without a place to go. 

Please take a seat. Don’t mind the pile of trash and miscellaneous items on the couch, or the makeshift couch bed, or the boxes of Christmas decorations on the ground, haha. We are so awful. You must hate us. Please don’t hate us. 
I would offer to make you dinner but I can’t remember the last time I washed dishes. I’ve just been too emotionally drained lately. Get it? Drained? Haha, please think I’m funny. I am normally so good at being a functioning adult human. 
Oh that? That’s just our pile of Christmas gifts we haven’t moved for 2 weeks. I know, awful huh? Just say I’m disgusting, I know you want to. You’ll feel much better if you just tell me how you think I’m an inadequate, horrible, smelly person. Haha, doesn’t that sound fun?
Oof, I honestly don’t know when that laundry was put in. Whoopsie daisy. I know what you’re thinking: “Why am I friends with such an emotionally unavailable person? I hate her and I wish she was more like Martha Stewart.” Haha, oh well. But would you like me more? If I was Martha Stewart? If my home didn’t look like anyone lived here?
Ah yes: the bedroom. I can’t emotionally commit to one blanket because I use them to cope with the extreme crushing weight that I feel on my chest every single day, haha. And don’t worry, I make the bed every time I change the sheets. Which is almost never, haha. Just girly things, am I right? And the laundry? We love it there. It grows there. Do you like it? I hope you like it. I will do anything to please you.
Well, this is the last room. This is where I dissociate the most, haha. Don’t mind the crippling depression, anxiety attacks, months of sleepless nights, struggling to survive, and fight or flight mode on the ground. One day it will get cleaned, or maybe I’ll just be a slob forever, haha. Please like me. I’ll do anything to get your approval. I’ll clean the whole house tonight.
What was that?
You don’t live here? 
You understand that life is hard right now?
You must be lying. I know you think I’m a disgusting little troll. Haha, all my friends do, so no problem!
I hope you enjoyed your stay! I’ll be thinking about this interaction every second of everyday until I see you again! And don’t worry, I’ll make sure to bring it up too so you don’t forget how slimy and smelly of a human being I am. 
Bye!


















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