Bella’s Brain and Other Nonsense

Hi there! I didn’t expect to see you tonight! No that’s okay, come on in. Just as long as you don’t judge me too harshly, my house is a mess. Please take your shoes off, we don’t want to track in anything unwanted like dirt or leaves or crippling self image. You can just leave them by the stacks of feeding tube supplies and the pile of stuff without a place to go.  Please take a seat. Don’t mind the pile of trash and miscellaneous items on the couch, or the makeshift couch bed, or the boxes of Christmas decorations on the ground, haha. We are so awful. You must hate us. Please don’t hate us.  I would offer to make you dinner but I can’t remember the last time I washed dishes. I’ve just been too emotionally drained lately. Get it? Drained? Haha, please think I’m funny. I am normally so good at being a functioning adult human.  Oh that? That’s just our pile of Christmas gifts we haven’t moved for 2 weeks. I know, awful huh? Just say I’m disgusting, I know you want to. You’l...

Until my experience in the hospital with Ethan I don’t think I really knew what it meant to mourn with those that mourn, to succor someone in their time of need. I honestly will still need practice when I am ready to look outside my own bubble again. *This is not written about any experience in particular. This is based solely on my opinion and personality.* Here are lists of things we found extremely helpful, and a little less helpful, during our experience: A LITTLE LESS HELPFUL: “Let me know if you need anything.” I really struggle to ask for help, so this was not it for me. I would rather suffer than tell someone I need something. Also, it just felt like another job on my to-do list. When people texted or called me and expected me to reply, it was so stressful. Example: “How are you doing?” or “Do you have any updates?”. Again, felt like a chore, and also like people where just very interested in having information rather than helping.  Asking “What day do you want me to drop d...