A Little Too Real, Sorry
*TW: Suicidal ideation* Well. The last 2 weeks have been absolutely, hellishly, nightmarish. I’ve been on a mental decline since the beginning of our journey, but recently it has felt like I’ve strapped on a pair of skis and am hurtling down the mountain side. And I don’t know how to ski. And there’s a shark infested lake at the bottom. I have absolutely reached my limit, and I think everyone around me has started to notice. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. My old coping mechanisms just don’t cut it and I’m starting to run out of hope. I talked to my therapist about my concerns and she has had me take an assessment every week to see where I rank on a suicidal ideation scale. The numbers have been slowly creeping up. One night I was so overwhelmed and so tired of feeling numb, I laid down on my kitchen floor and forced myself to watch “Marley and Me” just so I would have a reason to cry. Spoiler alert: the dog dies at the end. I laid on the kitchen floor for 4 hours and cried. ...